what you expect i 'am a human not a immortal

what is friendship?
i doubt the meaning of it
you once said is forever
but now what?
last forever?
i dont think so
everytime you blow hot and cold towards me
we will make mistakes
you too
just that we dont want to point out
i hope this thing end as soon as possible
are you still my friend?
i dont think so
everytime you do something that hurt me i tolerated
but you did it once and again
never mind if is like that...

i think you rather be with your friends right.
i dont mind i do have mine too
you are the one being unreasonable
say people unreasonable
whatever now.
where is the trust i believe in you
are you still there my friend
there is a chance for turn backs
but i dont think you will even notice
this is just not you
think over have you ever did something wrong?
yes you did just that you didn't know
must it be everything be mine fault?
don't you have the blame too?
oh never mind
you said things that hurt all of us
what did we do?
we did nothing
even if we know that you were hurting us
we act as if we didn't know cause we want you as a friend

(this is to :sherine. the message up here.)

i seriously dont have the mood to go to school but can i dont go ...?no i dont have a choice.i have to attend school.i want to fal sick till friday at least i have time to think over...but also at the same time i want to attend school to be with friends?and so called "study" as well...everything although is going quite well for me i have some troubles that i have to solve it..i am having a tiny winy stress up here with me...can't the shadow leave me alone.why is it must always be me the one that have to cope with all this??i am not a im-mortal but i am a human i cant do things like a super hero that you want me do this i can do this...i am tired also..i cant cope things well why find me?i cant give you everything i possess in me...i want to get rid of this shadow but can i?i doubt whether i could i cant in fact...but how i am tired...very tired of this...i am just not the right person you could find for to cover things for you and take down the dark shadown over me...i'm just a normal mortal girl leaving in earth working hard for everything i want and also have fun in life why cant you just leave me?there is so many people out there why me??why me.......i cant accept the fate i have now can i escape?in school i am happy with my friends but am i sastified i guess not?maybe this is not i really wanted in life..what about family?forget about it although i know you have my welfare at heart but seriously is that what u all people really want me to ?everything i heard from each day is just naggings complain and unhappiness and even more than that..i just simply have no mood now neither do i have the mood to go to school or even revise work..i guess i shall either fall sick as soon as possible or even i could just go home straight away after school...my freedom is gone my mood is gone everything in my head now is problems....i wish this week could end soon..




xoxo,
---eileen



girlfriend + baobei
=my forever lorbes
= is the people i could turn to

squirrel family
=the place i can be at peace in.






i am just not a im mortal
everything you expect from
me may not be fulfill-ed
but at least i tried my very best
someone out there be my leaning shoulder..
my dear friend