i dont wish to pick up taht call because i was afraid to hear you

i was afraid to pick up taht call because i was afraid to talk to you or even more to hear u...every call u made to me gives me a terrible feeling...i would ask myself alot of questions ..i was just thinking of u and this call was here...i asked myself why would u call me ,waht u will tell me ,how would i respond ,how would i feel how will you sound like ? and lastly how long will this call last...?i never once really speak to you..there was only once a short conversation even if we did we only talk like a few words?i am really afraid to talk to you...maybe i was shy ?sometimes i wished to talk to you but you didnt pick up my call ,it was odd timing..i guess taht was fate.i didnt dare to pick up i feel taht i am in a struggle.to pick up that call but at least at the end u ended taht call ....
i guessed i wouldn't talk to you in school i am scared to talk to you alone maybe if there were people around me ?i give up .i am tired of everything.lets wait and see...i wish to see you having happiness taht will be the best happiness to me..taht will be all.even not maybe i will be with you..all the way down the road..i wait for you..
i thought over playing with kids younger than me aren't taht childish it lets me have my childhood played back again....it lets me remind those childish moments ..afterall i miss those times ...i wish i could turn back the time ..go back to my happiest moments taht was when i am in primary school..