Friend ,

I'm so sorry that sometimes i'm a bad friend , i'm so sorry . i can't express my thousands of apology towards you . I know 24/7 is impossible for me . i can't promise anything . But you can stay assured that i will be there when you need me ,at times when you text me and i don't reply , i may be asleep or busy . but i will reply you for sure . I know a word of sorry won't do any help . When you need advice or comfort , i would try . I know i'm not in your shoes so i won't understand how you feel , at times i'm bad at comforting you . But i can give you advice from my point of view . I can't promise you anything , cause i would break it unknowingly . I don't understand you well , cause you understand yourself the best .

The top is for all friends out there . Sorry :/

again , i manage to carry on my life after a obstacle . Now i wonder , what will be the next problem in my life ? I don't wanna lose hope , so i don't wish . But i expect . When i expect and you don't meet the expectation , in the end i will still get hurt or any other kind of feeling . But is better than losing hope in you . For a certain someone , you will have a expectation for him / her . A basic sentence when someone know that you are sad is " are you okay ? " . I don't really want that sentence , but i do that to almost everyone . Cause i really don't know what to say to make him /her feel better . all i need is someone to stay all with me no matter even if him /her don't contact me . Trying so hard to make things right . I don't think any thing will go right , no matter how much i try so hard . But i put in effort already . Love is profound , everyone has a different definition of love . For me , love . Is a kind of power that allows one to be strong to face every single thing . that allows one to also be more sensible and understanding a lot of things . Love , makes my mind think a lot . Getting so emotional . Every time i manage to move on , I feel less burdened . I wanna love my life too . Is was so difficult for me to face the truth that one lied , one pretended . and of course him . I got over him , i guess ? Who doesn't want to be happy ? everyone does . I wanna be a strong , happy girl again . that girl was lost a few months ago already . to find it back , will take a long time . I miss my birthday .. so much . For once , i miss my birthday that much .

Yining , wake up wake up . He won't be how he is this last time already . He wouldn't take the initiative like you hope that he would . You see ? You already give the "bo chap bo chap " attitude . Why still have hope for him ? He cares . Maybe is you think the wrong way ? You only like the way he cares . not him . Now he also don't give a damn about you already , why still hang on for him ? He doesn't deserve this . Is you think too much , don't put yourself in such a pathetic position . You don't even have the thought of being together with him , you don't have high hopes for him . why still don't give up ?you will get more depressed if you hang on for him . You expect that he will take the initiative to talk to you , and care for you once more . that will not happen anymore . never . he has his own life already . while you have yours . you have much more to worry out there , why put him as your first priority ? Nothing will change . He won't put you as his first place anyway . you know is impossible , why still bother . You are the stupid one , you dumb . He is not at fault , you are at fault . you think too much into it . He don't mean anything in his words . cause you don't even mean anything too him . whatever messages , is nothing at all . waiting won't do any help . IS NOTHING , YOU STUPID PERSON . WHY CAN'T YOU FREAKING GET THIS IN YOUR MIND YINING ! THOSE MESSAGES ARE NOTHING ! NOTHING NOTHING NOTHING NOTHING NOTHING ! YOU DON'T NEED TO CARE . So what if you yearn for his care so much . his care , for you , you think is special . to him , it doesn't even mean a shit . why you get so serious over this kind of thing for the first time ? IS NOTHINNG YOU DUMB . In message , is just purely how a friend caring for a friend . what do you think it was ? You expect so much for what ? Think until so much for what ? JUST SHUT YOUR BRAIN . CLOSE YOUR HEART . NO MORE NO MORE SUCH NONSENSE . So what if you best memories of him , are those . To him , those ? Do he still remember ? NO ! He just treat you as a friend , you stupid . you aren't that great la girl . you are a ordinary , average looking girl out there . YINING . REMEMBER THIS . YOU AREN'T THAT GREAT . He isn't part of your life anymore . NOT ANYMORE . Your heart don't beat for him any more , you are the last one standing .

Yining , Won't you just stop your nonsense ? whats wrong with your life ? filter it out . make it pure . Get so affected for what ? Won't do any help to you . Him , him ,him . NO USE . He isn't part of your life anymore . so just SHUT UP . He lied , So just don't care . he pretended , so just ignore . Why cry , why ? so affected by it ? Just stop your nonsense stupid .

I'm done here .

Yining .