things happen out of a sudden

who are you to me
i am not your punching bag
happy with me stuff me with things
not happy with me say sarcastic remarks and comments to me
make me feel insecure
you dont twist the fact to my mother
make her think badly on me and
it totally reflects badly on me
when she say something
fine if you are gonna give me
a cold shoulder and ignore me
if i am not part of this family
i dont wish to me in it
and i wont beg you for it
i am no place in your heart
you rather believe outsiders
than believing your own daughter
who i am to you
is it someone that you show love and concern to
or is it someone you can always throw and take back
i have feelings too
what you do
can hurt me deep in the heart
once you asked me jump down from the building
i cried the whole night on my pillow
did you hear my cries
do you understand me?
i guess this time you will also say something to me
which make me think badly on myself
stop threatening me
i am always in the wrong


you think i can recover easily from the words
you told me?
no....
it takes time to heal
i hope there is still school although i am tired
at least there i can spend most of my time
forgetting that i am in pain
you are my mother
not an outsider
i ask help from you
but instead for me
i ask help from friends
is that waht a mother does
you always work
i rarely see you at home
i can forgive you for that
you dont spend time with me often
you only know how to work
when u come back from work
you scold me out of no reason
just because you are tired
when i ask you why you work so hard for?
you shouted back and say is for me
okay fine is for me
is there a need
for me to feel that i am a burden to you
and at fault for everything?
do you protect me?
from insults and criticism?
no! not at all
you dont stand by me
you only hear one sided story
you dont hear my explain
i am always left at a corner
i tried to believe you again
when you tell me so
but you make me feel tired and painful
this isnt waht i supposed to feel
i want someone to lean on
i wish it was him and a true friend
but you are nothing to me now
later when you reach home
you will say i am useless
and nag at me
when tonight
i will cry in bed....silently






i really want you now
i realised you are important
but i cant lean onto you
will i get hurt once more?
i want someone to talk to
i want it to be you
but you arent by my side at this moment
there is no one to listen to my worries
only a true firend
i hope you are there as well
this family problem will not solve that fast
it will take time
i shall wish and hope every single day
to be with you....and problems to be solved
i miss you....